Canada’s greatest past time isn’t hockey, it’s virtue signalling. In case you don’t know, virtue signalling is basically a small child telling everyone what a special, good boy he is. From a five year old, it’s cute; when adults do it, it’s annoying. And when it’s part of nation’s culture, it’s fucking pathetic. Canadians love telling everyone that they’re not Americans, that they are more peaceful than their gun toting counterparts. Their inclusive society looks at gated communities like xenophobic klan gatherings, and they take great pride in showing how smart they are communicating in polite, politically correct exchanges… but Covid lockdowns are showing them that they’re idiots.
I’ve got a few friends in Canuckastan, and they tell me they have a nationalized dollar store called Craparama. Only it’s not really a dollar store because most of the good stuff is $4.00. (Only Canadians will overpay for cheap Chinese shit.) After over a year of gov’t restrictions and with their American counterparts opening up, it seems Canucks are still waging a polite war against the China virus… All their stores are closed except the dollar store and Wagglemart because germs have adapted to the low grade government regulated hand sanitizer. To make matters even worst, Chinese imports that line the shelves of these stores, are teaming with Coronaviruses, so on the shelves they must stay, no one can buy them.
So my good friend Singh walks into the crapola store looking to buy a can of beans, dish detergent, a dish sponge and a kitchen sink stopper. However, when he gets to the cashier, the woman takes out the sponge, and the sink stopper and tells him they’re non-essential. My friend is dumbfounded, he has been dutifully under house arrest and now he wonders what he did wrong, because he did everything he was told. Which in Canadianese means that he was expecting to get a pat on the head for being a “good boy” and not denied spending his gov’t check on what he sees in the prison store.
All this virtue signalling, good little patsy stuff made me curious about the biggest Canuckian that I know. It’s GFY’s #1 basement wimp from Montreal, 2MuchMark. Last weekend he waited in line outside of the Olympic Stadium, the place where Bruce Jenner outran his own balls in 1976, for his anti-Covid shot. Sadly, French Canadiens are so scared of the Coronavirus that they didn’t have the customary line of government employees available to praise Cowardians for being good and doing as they’re told. So poor Marky had to go online and proudly proclaim to pornographic webmasters how special he was, to get some virtual high 5s‘.
Fortunately, for Canadians there is a silver lining to all of this Covid insanity. Part of the foundation of communism is its make work programs. So even if their bosses go out of business, there will be no shortage of government jobs for people willing to pat Canucks on their heads and tell them how good they are. In the meantime, Trudeau and Rob Ford want to assure the public that boot licking is still germ free.
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