So let’s begin with your special contribution to the sex industry.  Can you tell everyone what exactly it is that you do?

It’s really not so much what I do, as much as what I did. You see, I’ve been in Adult ALL of my life ! Literally. I was born into it!  My Dad shot and sold Stag Loops. As a kid, I earned my pocket money as a duplicator, swapping out the blank and recorded hardcore tapes, although I never watched them. I helped out with sales at 15, and began creating my own original content when I became an adult. I started off with mail order distribution, and kept up with the technological demands, learned the ins and outs of the internet and stayed profitable.

My journey took me to LA where my immersion in the industry had me running both a 32000 sq ft facility and the 2nd largest swingers club in the whole USA. I crossed over into mainstream, worked too much, split with my wife, then overstayed my visa and got booted from the US. Back in the UK, I started up my own personal niche fetish, what most of you know me for, (scat/poo/shit) but I retired and sold my equipment in 2013. I still hang around on web forums etc, because although I’m not doing much actively myself these day, I still feel it’s where I belong

Have you ever purposely locked yourself in a construction site port-o-let?

Not locked myself inside one, no. But I have hidden underneath one down by my local docks ! It was an incredible thrill to know I was so close to people doing what they were doing, listening to the sounds and enjoying the aromas etc. And they didn’t have a clue I was there!!! Exhilarating  !

What has been the most difficult thing that you’ve had to deal with in this industry?

Truthfully, not very much. I have always been my own person, doing things my own way, and if they worked out they worked out. If not, then no one to answer to but myself. So I guess I’ve been pretty lucky really. If I really had to say, I suppose it would be ‘false friends’. But then that’s  probably true in all walks of life. Sorry,I can’t give you a juicer answer.

Have you ever drank large amounts of food coloring so you can shit your own rainbow and celebrate pride day?

Not exactly, but I did drink a load of red food coloring once, so when I had an ‘accident’ in the hospital waiting room, staff would think I was shitting blood and then I’d get to the front of the queue and be seen quicker.

In my background research it appeared that, like myself, you were in Los Angeles area in the early 2000’s. We never crossed paths, but I wonder if you have any stories, like myself. Who among the industry characters stands out in your mind and why?

Yeah, I had a great time in the USA, and met some fun people. However, I was so busy working, I barely found much time to socialize. I had some fun nights out with Mickey G. He stands out to me, as a true friend. Never wanted anything from me, and it was a pleasure to spend time hanging out with him. I also spent a lot of time with Dennis Hof (as an invited guest) up at the Bunny Ranch, in my downtime. America was a fantastic place for me to be for that 5 years or so, but it only accounts for a small part of my time in the business.   

Would you ever consider doing a celebrity endorsement for the use of probiotics to stop diarrhea? Or is that against your moral code? Do you have a moral code?

Why would I want to stop diarrhea??? I don’t think it’s morally wrong. Just a waste of a potentially fun evening! Do I have morals? Absolutely. One thing people will be able to say when I’m in my grave, is that I never cheated anyone, I never bad-mouthed anyone, and I never knowingly hurt anyone. Simple enough, but I’m proud to say it’s true. As for ‘Sexual Morality’, I say If it doesn’t hurt anyone, that everyone involved chooses to be there and they are of age, then knock yourselves out ! That’s pretty much how I have lived my life

Many sex industry workers keep the details of their career very private so have you ever had to explain to a civilian non-sex industry person the way you earn a living?    Roughly, what did you say?

Very much the opposite for me from Day One. I was always known as the porno guy, who had the real deal stuff. An open secret, even to the police. who every so often would kick my door in and damage beyond repair all my equipment. If I was brought in, I’d be out in the morning. Just police making the themselves look good. so I treated it as the cost of doing business. When my wife got into the business, we shouted it from the rooftops. After less than 6 months in the industry, she was up for AVN awards. While in the UK porn production was still illegal and seedy, my wife was an international STAR! We went to America for up to 3 Months at a time, where it was completely legal, and she was getting recognition at the top level possible, the AVNs were like the porno equivalent of the Oscars! So no. I’ve never been secretive nor needed to explain myself.

Almost everyone has at one time or another pooped their pants believing it was only a fart. This, one would think, would be a welcome surprise for you, so would the opposite be disappointing? Have you ever believed you were about to shit yourself and only received a disappointing fart?  How did you deal with the disappointment?

This is deeply philosophical isn’t it? To fart or not a fart? That is the question. No, I can’t say I’ve ever been disappointed by a fart, as a fart is halfway towards the ultimate goal, and I’m a glass half full kinda guy. My philosophy of life is that it’s better to have tried and to have failed, than to not have tried at all. That said though, at my age, and with all the years of practice, it’s kinda like male talent being able to achieve an erection under studio lights and a crowd of people. Not EVERYONE can do it, but if you can, you’ve got it made. Just like I can make ‘Heavy Pants’ pretty much to order !

What’s the most surprising and embarrassing things that you’ve learned since embarking down this path in your life?

I think, if I’m gonna be brutally honest, it’s the amount of ‘Straight Guys’ that just are not that straight. Don’t get me wrong. Nothing wrong with homosexual activity, but its just not for me. I have indeed tried it in the past, I’ve had a few experiments etc, but decided that it’s simply not for me. However the amount of guys for whom it IS a thing, yet they go out of their way to keep it a deep dark secret, has genuinely surprised me! Again, no judgement, I just never thought it was quite as widespread as it is. As for embarrassment? Remember, you are talking to a guy who actively soils himself in public, just to enjoy the reactions of those around him, so I don’t even know the meaning of the word! lol

Have you ever seen the face of Elvis Presley or something else just as interesting, in one of your turds?  Did you flush or bronze it?

Funnily enough, a few months ago, first thing in the morning, I DID see a face in one of my turds. It was my own ! I couldn’t believe just how realistic it looked. Then, I realized that I had been drinking heavily the night before, and passed out face down in a pile of my own poo. When I woke up, it was the first thing I saw, what an impression! Flush or Bronze? Neither, I just kept it for a few weeks but it dried up and disintegrated. The world can be such a cruel and heartless place: Thank God we have porn to cheer us all up !!!

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These days everyone appears to be worried about healthcare except me. When Billy-boy Gates decided to launch the same biological-political attack he normally reserves for African nations on the Western world, I decided to double up on my daily workouts and cut all sugar out of my diet. I was in great health before the pandemic and I made significant improvements during it. I can run 1.5 miles in 9 minutes when I belligerently force the issue upon myself. As the old saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and you won’t need medical attention if you don’t abuse your body.

But health insurance or fetish performers?

There’s an entire lifestyle that goes with being a fetishist and each person’s fetish is different. Some of the things that people are into scare the hell out of me. Forget about the latex, leather or rubber clothes; I was once paid to film a private video for a guy that dressed up like a dog and let his trained German Shepherds attack him. Watching one of the dogs sink its teeth in his skin gave the man the hardest boner that I’ve seen in my life. It occurred to me then that this shoot could go wrong and I would have a hell of a job trying to explain what we were doing.

So how does someone get an insurance quote for “dog accidentally ate my cock?”

Or, for someone that made their own rubber suit and now has chemical burns? Or, a woman gets latex jeans and goes for a walk down the street where a distracted bus driver runs her over? I can easily imagine an insurance company representative going to a hospital to inspect someone that almost killed themself with a super tight leather gimp suit. Oh sure, I’ll get a ton of messages quoting slogans like “safe and sane” or lecturing me on what is and what isn’t fetish.

However, isn’t that kind of the point?

Fetish can be subject to individual interpretation. For example, I’m highly attracted to seeing women in tea dresses wearing big floppy sun hats. It makes me just want to put on a suit and tie and invite them to picnic so that I can watch their bosoms heave beneath their cotton frocks. Obviously, these days, there’s not much of a market for the Lady Chatterley scenarios but extending me medical coverage would be cheap. The agent might ask me what liability insurance I would be needing, and I can’t think of much danger other than choking on a grape or possibly having some squirrel mistake my nut sack for his stash while I am making love under his tree.

On the other hand, how are they going to handle someone that’s into pee and poop? Most of the public is freaking out about getting the sniffles these days and I’m sure there would be a freakout about fecal pathogens. In business everything is about the risk to reward ratio, so I can’t help wondering if this might end up being a huge pain in the ass for Clips4sale. They’re obviously not the company doling out the insurance, but the moment a performer doesn’t get what they want, they’ll be on the phone bitch at C4S. Factor in also, that this is the adult industry and we’ve got some issues with addicts and scammers, and I can foresee all kinds of attempts at insurance fraud.

Regardless, it’s still great marketing to attract studios and performers. So if C4S can make this work then I support their efforts. My only question is, would they help me make tea dresses and crumpets a financially viable fetish?

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Last night I went out to a Fetlife event; what a waste of time. Whoever planned the event didn’t spend too long on the task, there absolutely zero parking available and the cheap bastard bar owner didn’t put any light bulbs in the place. Hell, the son of a bitch didn’t even pay for candles… I feel sorry for the barmaid who’s going to go blind trying to make change. Well, I’m not into any strange kind of fetish bdsm kinky stuff and I was only there to try to recruit new talent, which is difficult when you can’t see what you’re talking to.

Fine, I can deal with the pitch black location and over priced drinks, but what made things worse was the extra loud ghetto music. Only now, they tell me, calling it ghetto is racist. Well I refuse to be a racist and once my mistake was pointed out to me I quickly corrected myself. So it’s no longer ghetto music, it’s shitty music! Although I still believe that ghetto is a better description of auto-tune crap, I’m willing to change for the betterment of society. However, there’s only 1 thing I ask in return.

Can I still refer to my people’s music as “Wop Opera?”

I’m a certified genetic garlic eater that was born and raised behind large smoke belching factories in an immigrant infested gutter. I would never have survived those childhood beatings from bullies had it not been for Toto Cutugno to sooth away my tears. Where would I be today had it not been for Marco Masini to deal with the pain of being kicked in the cazzo? I mean, me and the other Dagos weren’t looking for trouble, we were in the park learning to strut from the pigeons. And I was consoled by Zucchero after someone broke a Sambuca bottle over my head for daring to be proud of the suit my mother made me from seat covers of an 84 Chevy Impala.

Being a greasy pornographer certainly is getting more difficult these days, but luckily porn videos these days don’t rely on music. Hell, I don’t even want to put money in the production of a video, but unfortunately no one is woke enough to fuck on camera for free. You would think that in 2021 there would be at least one great looking female that would be progressive enough to let me film her getting sodomized, yet, they all want to be paid. Do socialists even have sex outside of political office? Perhaps some woman would be interested if I download an auto-tune app and promise to synchronize it with her moans of pleasure while getting long donged? I could overlay a repetitive track of the head board slapping against the wall and we could call the song WOP, “Wide Open Pussy.”

I’m thinking that I should just stick to being the best offensive greaseball that I can be. It worked for Italy’s Berlusconi, that filthy rich goombah makes menstruating I-Ties want to trim their mustaches and lose 20lbs. It’s time someone produced a porn titled IROC, Italian Retards Out Cruising. Rocco Siffredi is getting old and so we need a new Jabonee to bunga bunga the puttanas with a good WOP Opera soundtrack. – In fact I smell a pubic-hair hit porn musical in the making! O mio Dio !!!!

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