Most people don’t like the idea of paying for sex, and some people downright hate the idea so much they turn that hatred towards the very people who get paid to get them off. As a sex worker, I’ve been on the receiving end of the hate, A bad month full of assholes can really fuck with your head. What gets me, and other sex workers I imagine, past the difficult times is the money. As I like to say, you can kiss my ass, but it’s going to cost you 20 bucks. I go to the gym every day; a neglected body isn’t worth very much to anyone, I need to look good and be fit because I’m a whore. If I haven’t done it yet, it’s because my price hasn’t been met. Yet it’s surprising some times what I find myself doing for a few bills in my pocket. Like french kissing a chain-smoking, steak tartare eating sex-starved septuagenarian with the most disgusting foul breath you can imagine.

On the other hand everyone loves an easy to lay slut, but most people have no respect for them. Only my clients, coworkers and closest friends know what I do for a living. Since most people don’t tend to think of men as whores, I’m often told what someone thinks of fast and free screws. Also, men don’t enjoy a monopoly on this disrespectful attitude, because I’ve met some lesbians that are just as bad as any man, sometimes worse in their degrading disrespect of a floozy.

There is no middle ground between these two attitudes, but at least when someone hates you, they respect you. Despising someone requires an emotional investment, and it’s difficult, if not impossible, to see your opponent as anything less than an equal. Another way to understand the situation is think of it as becoming someone’s obsession and living rent free in their mind. Believe me, they’ll remember your name.

I’ve never been a fan of the “save a whore” attitude. Without doubt, people like me are mentally wired differently than the average person. It wouldn’t be surprising if sex workers were more likely to commit suicide or die of a drug overdose. But I’ve also seen the opposite , and know that just as many of us are capable of doing impossible things Therefore, I’m often inclined to giving a hand up to a fuck anyone slut transforming them into a pay me whore. Admittedly my efforts have had mixed results, leaving me to wondering if whores are just somehow smarter.

Ghost, my business partner and cameraman has often said that friends are expensive, while clients put money in your pocket. The gist of this is that we need to be careful who we call a friend. Someone might be a swinger but regardless of how their relationship is, it’s one thing to fuck your spouse for free but it’s stupid to screw your neighbor just because you like them. Sluts, even when they decide to become sex workers are infamous for doing foolish things like this. Not only does it cost them money, but they also tend to find themselves surrounded by people that happily sing their praises because they’re getting laid. But all too often, these “friends” disappear when the party is over.

As a pornographer, I often get asked to introduce someone to a performer and my response is always the same, “it’ll cost you”. As a meat puppet, I’m not giving away free samples and most people that assume they can take liberties because we are friends end up making some excuse to call me in the future. A handful get perturbed, but to date, no one that I have ever met in a non-professional environment has ever paid me. The only people who pay have always known upfront that I’m sex worker. With others, it’s as if because they’ve come to know me in a non-business environment, learning that I’m a sex worker somehow entitles them to perks and I’m supposed help them fulfill their fantasy by being a nice guy.

So love me because of professionalism and honesty or hate me because I won’t be used, I don’t really care, because one thing is for sure, you will remember me.

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