Last night I went out to a Fetlife event; what a waste of time. Whoever planned the event didn’t spend too long on the task, there absolutely zero parking available and the cheap bastard bar owner didn’t put any light bulbs in the place. Hell, the son of a bitch didn’t even pay for candles… I feel sorry for the barmaid who’s going to go blind trying to make change. Well, I’m not into any strange kind of fetish bdsm kinky stuff and I was only there to try to recruit new talent, which is difficult when you can’t see what you’re talking to.

Fine, I can deal with the pitch black location and over priced drinks, but what made things worse was the extra loud ghetto music. Only now, they tell me, calling it ghetto is racist. Well I refuse to be a racist and once my mistake was pointed out to me I quickly corrected myself. So it’s no longer ghetto music, it’s shitty music! Although I still believe that ghetto is a better description of auto-tune crap, I’m willing to change for the betterment of society. However, there’s only 1 thing I ask in return.

Can I still refer to my people’s music as “Wop Opera?”

I’m a certified genetic garlic eater that was born and raised behind large smoke belching factories in an immigrant infested gutter. I would never have survived those childhood beatings from bullies had it not been for Toto Cutugno to sooth away my tears. Where would I be today had it not been for Marco Masini to deal with the pain of being kicked in the cazzo? I mean, me and the other Dagos weren’t looking for trouble, we were in the park learning to strut from the pigeons. And I was consoled by Zucchero after someone broke a Sambuca bottle over my head for daring to be proud of the suit my mother made me from seat covers of an 84 Chevy Impala.

Being a greasy pornographer certainly is getting more difficult these days, but luckily porn videos these days don’t rely on music. Hell, I don’t even want to put money in the production of a video, but unfortunately no one is woke enough to fuck on camera for free. You would think that in 2021 there would be at least one great looking female that would be progressive enough to let me film her getting sodomized, yet, they all want to be paid. Do socialists even have sex outside of political office? Perhaps some woman would be interested if I download an auto-tune app and promise to synchronize it with her moans of pleasure while getting long donged? I could overlay a repetitive track of the head board slapping against the wall and we could call the song WOP, “Wide Open Pussy.”

I’m thinking that I should just stick to being the best offensive greaseball that I can be. It worked for Italy’s Berlusconi, that filthy rich goombah makes menstruating I-Ties want to trim their mustaches and lose 20lbs. It’s time someone produced a porn titled IROC, Italian Retards Out Cruising. Rocco Siffredi is getting old and so we need a new Jabonee to bunga bunga the puttanas with a good WOP Opera soundtrack. – In fact I smell a pubic-hair hit porn musical in the making! O mio Dio !!!!

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