I know that I’m in no position to judge anyone. After all, in an era where there are more than 100 different genders I identify as gender greedy whore. You see I can only get aroused by portraits of dead presidents printed on rectangular pieces of specialty paper. The more presidents that I’m given the harder my cock gets.

Well 2 weeks ago I was contacted by this couple that wanted me to organize a gangbang. Under the best of circumstances organizing one is difficult enough and that’s when you’re paying for the penises to show up. It’s damn murder where you’re trying to get the cocks for free. So I made sure that I got my organizer payment upfront and insisted there were no promises. But I made an amateur mistake and kind of gave the couple the impression that in a worst case scenario I would do the deed.

First let me say that the Internet is NOT reality and it can be the worst place to try and network anything. Personally, I do most of my networking in bars, swinger clubs and even in the streets. The rule of thumb for gangbangs is to invite 3 to 5 times more guys than you want and hope for the best. In this situation I was going for 10Xs more than needed and only looking for guys into grandmas. It took me a bit of hustling but I got 30 guys to signup and even managed to convince 5 of them to give me $200 each for the privilege.

I got the dreaded phone call that no one showed up.

I was paid good money for this gangbang and despite that I said “No Promises,” I’m an idiot that doesn’t know when to stop talking and they were under the misconception that I was their backup plan. With no choice I went into my magic trunk and dusted off my meat puppet combat gear. Then I popped a blue pill and the Steele Attack was back

I should have demanded hazard pay.

Grandpa was already tied up in a chair that was facing the bed. Grandma was wearing some kind of modern nylon pantyhose crotchless body suit. (Whatever… I wasn’t there for a fashion show) We immediately got down to business and from the start I knew I should have asked for more money. Granny’s false teeth had the bad habit of sliding a little each time she deep throated me and it creeped me out. Unfortunately she loved gagging on my rod so I had imagine other things. When I went down on her she just kept stuffing my face into her twat until I was ready to pass out from lack of oxygen and I was wondering to myself when was the last decade someone did this to her?

Now you would think that any woman this turned on would be wetter than the Atlantic Ocean. NOPE! It was like screwing the Sahara desert and she didn’t want any lube because it killed her sensations. Well work is work and whores like me just can’t stop ourselves when it comes to money. So I played slammy Hammy until she had a goose bump screaming orgasm and pissed all over me saying she was a squirtter. Normally a urine gushing climax means mission accomplished and I’m clear to drop my load on a woman’s stomach. Then it’s just the obligatory 10 minutes of polite after sex conversation before I could put my clothes on and go home.

But for fuck sakes! It turned out that I still had at least another 30 minutes of actually kicking her husband in the ass and making him lick my cum off his wife. Of course, I smiled and played along and kicked his ass until my foot throbbed. From the fucking to the ass kicking it was 3 hours! Gramps was so overjoyed that he wanted to book me to fuck his wife at least once a month. Therefore I’m guessing that I did a good job.

I got a call 2 days later because they figured that I forgot to bring my Covid test and wanted me to bring it around so that they could see it. Keep in mind that we screwed bareback and she’s not asking about STIs but is only worried about the Corona virus. It’s at this point in the conversation that I soon discovered why none of the men showed up. It seems that when anyone phoned gramps for directions to their home that he told them that they would need a Covid test. Obviously I should have been looking for men with 6ft long cocks for the social distancing.

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