Rape is a four letter word in the expletive sense, its affects ripple through society like the plow wave of an atomic bomb, destroying the lives of those closest to it while leaving the radioactive residue that contaminates us all. Yet despite this being a clear cut, and well defined crime of a sexual nature, our modern day Orwellian “Ministry of Truth” has decided that it is now a social construct. Much like the rest of society, I believe that rape involves penetration of vagina, and or ass without consent, or by having someone forcibly shove his cock in your mouth against your will, and this view pretty much surmises the legal definition provided on Wikipedia. It’s not difficult to foresee a possible avalanche of problems the moment rape becomes a culturally subjective experience.
The fallout that I can imagine cascades in all directions. Take for instance a situation where someone anally rapes a female with broom handle and their defense in court is that it wasn’t rape because in their culture, rape can only be done by a penis entering a vagina. Imagine the trauma of having to relive such a violent act to testify, only to have the ordeal negated because the charges won’t stick under this subjective definition. Inversely a security guard could be criminally charged with rape for conducting a job related pat-down. We’ve already seen lives destroyed by unfounded accusation without consequence to the accuser. How much worse could it be if a bias judge was allowed to interpret the meaning as she saw fit. The destruction that a culturally fluid concept of rape can cause is, in my eyes, unfathomable and it scares the hell out of me.
Male, 26 years old repeatedly raped in prison.
Carl (not his real name) served an 18 month prison term in New York State where he was repeatedly raped by multiple men. We met 3 months ago when he contacted me, looking to work in the adult industry. Carl was soft spoken, and he wanted work, not trouble. For all the reasons people get into sex work, the biggest is that it’s really all they can handle. The commitment of regular jobs is too much for them. While sex work can be fast, easy, and you get paid right away. The sad truth is that traumatic rape experiences often create emotionally fractured people who go from being someone’s sex toy, to objectifying themselves to make ends meet.
Carl explained how he had been hanging out with a bad crowd when his carefree lifestyle caught up with him and he went to jail at 20. He was nonchalant in his tone, but as his eyes averted mine, I knew he was struggling to suppress his emotions. I watched his left foot bounce incessantly as he continued,
“When they brought me into the prison it didn’t take long for a couple of guys to give me that look like I was a new fuck doll. I remember walking past one guy and him saying to me that he’ll protect me. No one told me, but that’s how it works in jail, some guy rapes you and then he’s like, your daddy or husband. You ain’t got anymore manhood and your ass belongs to him. I was young and skinny, so from behind my ass looked like a woman to men that haven’t seen a female in years.”
He stops to have a cigarette, letting his foot hit the floor and stop it’s infernal bounce. He interjects that I don’t have to worry, nicotine is his only addiction now, he gave up drugs and hanging with that crowd.
As he gathered strength from the hot inhalation, he went on to tell me how his cellmate claimed him that first night. “When we were locked in my cellmate came up to me with his cock hanging out asking for a blowjob. I told him that I wasn’t gay or bisexual and he just smiled and grabbed my hair and forced me down. He was a big powerful guy that could have killed me, so when he threatened me I complied. Once he got hard he pulled my pants down and fucked me in the ass and he rode me hard and long. In the morning he told his friends and they all took turns raping me. I was raped almost every day I was in jail. I regularly had the shit beaten out of me and would walk around with bruises, cracked ribs and my asshole ripped open from impromptu gang bangs. The administration always made it clear that I should shut up about being raped and I did because I didn’t want it to get worse.”
Female, 32 years old raped several times by school teacher and husband
Lisa (not her real name) was 14 when she was raped several times by a school teacher and her husband. Like myself, she’s a veteran of the adult industry having worked in it more than 15 years. People that remain in this industry develop a thick skin and over time it only gets thicker validating the expression that we’re “tough as nails.” Although rape often is what causes many of us to become sex workers it’s the rape experience that causes someone’s mind will fracture. How those fractures express themselves can be drastically different among each individual.
Lisa matter-of-factly retold the story like she was reading through a porn premise. She knew how to remove herself from the reality, the psychological schism completely in her control. Her life took a turn just after starting high school. Having difficulty in math, she jumped at the chance to work one on one with her teacher, Mrs. Gibson. “ Friday after school, she drove me to her home and she helped me study for about an hour. After that she offered me some wine and like any kid I accepted.” Lisa isn’t sure how she ended up being eaten out by her teacher that day, but she does remember the confusion she felt after she orgasmed. “It totally fucked with my head because I had always believed that rape was something men did to women. I had no clue what to call that was happening to me. She also made me cum so I figured that I somehow responsible for what was happening.”
She continued to explain how her teacher started necking with her in the car before dropping her off. And like on any date with an aggressor, she ended it by telling her to be ready the next day to continue her tutoring. “I was a total naive idiot and I was outside sitting on the porch with my books waiting for her. She fingered me while we drove back to her home and when I got there her husband was there with another glass of wine for me. They both laughed when he took my virginity and I got blood on their bed.”
Lisa stops telling me her rape story to ask how much she’s getting paid for the boy-girl-girl scene I am shooting the next day, and I tell her. She complains that it’s on the low side and says how much she hates eating out girls. But then she quickly reminds herself that I’ve hired her several times, it’s easy work with me that doesn’t end up on the Internet.
From her perspective, for whatever reason, the sexual exploitation, wasn’t the worst of Lisa’s problems which she feels really began when, about a month later, she told someone what was happening. After that her world collapsed, nobody believed her, not even her parents. She started drinking, doing drugs and she left home. “ I was 15 and living on the streets and hooking behind a music shop. Even a couple of those Christian ministries guys came around to have me suck them off. They never screwed me because that was wrong but swallowing their loads was ok. I was around 18 when an old street walker from Boston helped me get off the streets and get clean. She ran an escort agency and the work was safer. I don’t know what happened to that teacher and I haven’t seen my parents since either.”
Helen, 45 years old wants to be raped
Helen (not real name), fantasizes about rape. It is a common fantasy, but women rarely want to be brutally raped, most rather enjoy the idea of being physically taken by an unknown aggressor. In Helen’s case though she wanted it as brutal as any mainstream movie, violent, physically damaging, sudden and anonymous. We were on the phone, when I realized she wasn’t looking for a re-enactment of Veronica Hart’s Taken. I made notes and demanded to meet face-to-face in a public place. I loath surprises and a woman willing to pay to be brutalized and raped has the extreme potential for a bad surprise.
A couple of days later, Helen was perturbed that I showed up with a witness (another girl) and a small camera. Rape fantasies, when they involve physical injury as well as sex, don’t always stop at the act. I mean she could very well be masturbating to the idea of also putting a rapist in jail. Considering the level of reality that she was asking for the only thing that would keep my ass from being arrested was fully documenting her request before proceeding.
Helen is a successful professional, she comes across the quiet conservative type, the ones we always whisper about being the ones to watch out for. She wanted to be taken off the streets, driven to a secluded area and beaten into submission by a masked man who would rape her. She liked the idea of a knife or a gun being used too. We finally agreed on a home invasion to occur by the next quarter. I also made her pay 50% upfront by personal check, made out to me personally as one more level of documentation. Much to her displeasure, I insisted that she have a safe word. If she said mercy at any point during her attack, it would be stopped, and the contract would be considered fulfilled Our meeting ended with her being filmed signing a legal document that explained that the rape was consensual while absolving me of all legal and/or financial responsibilities. After the signing and witnessing of the contract she would be unexpectedly raped within the next 3 months.
Just over a month later, she was caught in her kitchen by a masked intruder. Her rapist wore a discreet body cam and filmed the ordeal. (Again legal safety) She received a knife slash across her shoulder, a black eye and a split lip but never once did she say “mercy.” As I watched the footage, it was her eyes that struck me the hardest. The swift movements of her pupils divulged genuine fear, while the flush of the skin and the way her eyes would momentarily roll back after her pupils dilated betrayed her elation, as she struggled against her assailant. Helen was penetrated both vaginally and anally and she had multiple orgasms, during the following 3 hours, she got everything she had been looking for.
The outstanding sum on the contract was payed the next night. Helen looked like hell. I asked how on earth was she explaining her injuries, and without hesitation she told me that she got into a fight with another woman over politics. The pride she took in her injuries was confirmed by the fact that she tipped me, and then asked about setting up another rape session.
In conclusion
I look at the world these days, and I see a sick society, one that is becoming increasingly sicker. People who know me, often say I am like Han Solo, but these days I feel more like Darth Vadar as the darkest fantasies become realities. But don’t get me wrong, I still think that rape (in it’s traditional definition) is wrong and should be dealt with the harshest of penalties. Consent must be 100% or it’s not consent.
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