So who is Bernd Bergmair?

According to Tortoise Media, he’s the secret majority owner of Mindgeek (aka. Pornhub). Now in case you didn’t already suspect, Pornhub gets a mountain of traffic, (92 million daily visitors were counted in 2018). I’ve no doubt that Covid lockdowns have contributed to raising that number. Increased traffic includes increased uploaders, which brings its own set of problems. Problems with mentally sick pedophiles uploading kiddie porn… Jackasses uploading videos of people that never knew they were being filmed… And assholes that just want to get revenge on someone. Personally, I’ve got an old school mentality, so it should be no surprise that I like the idea of removing the anonymity of uploaders and then sending men with baseball bats to their homes. (Hey, my family is Sicilian, this train of thought is genetic.)

I have always been in favor of treating sites like Pornhub the same way we treat distributors of adult erotica. That means EVERYONE who uploads must adhere to 18 USC 2257. So the general public doesn’t get to upload to the platform without submitting copies of the performer’s IDs and releases. As a producer, I assure everyone that I want the scumbags shut down too and that it’s in everyone’s best interest, including Mindgeek’s to work together.

Quid-pro-quo business approaches ensure long-term profitability and growth.

When we fail to keep the human garbage out of our industry, another industry will be happy to do it for us and be labeled as heroes for it. All those anti-porn activists and political lobby groups that will put enormous public pressure on career politicians, who will be very happy to win public favor by kicking the adult industry in the head. No one is ever going to win an election by promising to make porn production easier, but a promise to shut one of us down, will easily win 50k more votes from both feminists and Christian groups. I can just imagine the chaos that will happen the moment some social justice warrior successfully claims that porn contributes to rape culture and/or toxic masculinity.

Whoever Bernd Bergmair is, it might be a good time for him to step up and change the way Pornhub functions. My search results say Pornhub earns close to half a billion dollars a year, so it’s had a great run. The world is forever changing and as much as I dream of making a 1970s porn movie, I’m now experimenting with my smartphone and sending the majority of what I produce to private collectors. The situation is… What the situation is.. So who Bernd Bergmair is doesn’t really matter but maybe now it’s Mindgeek’s turn to adapt or die.

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So let’s begin with your special contribution to the sex industry.  Can you tell everyone what exactly it is that you do?

It’s really not so much what I do, as much as what I did. You see, I’ve been in Adult ALL of my life ! Literally. I was born into it!  My Dad shot and sold Stag Loops. As a kid, I earned my pocket money as a duplicator, swapping out the blank and recorded hardcore tapes, although I never watched them. I helped out with sales at 15, and began creating my own original content when I became an adult. I started off with mail order distribution, and kept up with the technological demands, learned the ins and outs of the internet and stayed profitable.

My journey took me to LA where my immersion in the industry had me running both a 32000 sq ft facility and the 2nd largest swingers club in the whole USA. I crossed over into mainstream, worked too much, split with my wife, then overstayed my visa and got booted from the US. Back in the UK, I started up my own personal niche fetish, what most of you know me for, (scat/poo/shit) but I retired and sold my equipment in 2013. I still hang around on web forums etc, because although I’m not doing much actively myself these day, I still feel it’s where I belong

Have you ever purposely locked yourself in a construction site port-o-let?

Not locked myself inside one, no. But I have hidden underneath one down by my local docks ! It was an incredible thrill to know I was so close to people doing what they were doing, listening to the sounds and enjoying the aromas etc. And they didn’t have a clue I was there!!! Exhilarating  !

What has been the most difficult thing that you’ve had to deal with in this industry?

Truthfully, not very much. I have always been my own person, doing things my own way, and if they worked out they worked out. If not, then no one to answer to but myself. So I guess I’ve been pretty lucky really. If I really had to say, I suppose it would be ‘false friends’. But then that’s  probably true in all walks of life. Sorry,I can’t give you a juicer answer.

Have you ever drank large amounts of food coloring so you can shit your own rainbow and celebrate pride day?

Not exactly, but I did drink a load of red food coloring once, so when I had an ‘accident’ in the hospital waiting room, staff would think I was shitting blood and then I’d get to the front of the queue and be seen quicker.

In my background research it appeared that, like myself, you were in Los Angeles area in the early 2000’s. We never crossed paths, but I wonder if you have any stories, like myself. Who among the industry characters stands out in your mind and why?

Yeah, I had a great time in the USA, and met some fun people. However, I was so busy working, I barely found much time to socialize. I had some fun nights out with Mickey G. He stands out to me, as a true friend. Never wanted anything from me, and it was a pleasure to spend time hanging out with him. I also spent a lot of time with Dennis Hof (as an invited guest) up at the Bunny Ranch, in my downtime. America was a fantastic place for me to be for that 5 years or so, but it only accounts for a small part of my time in the business.   

Would you ever consider doing a celebrity endorsement for the use of probiotics to stop diarrhea? Or is that against your moral code? Do you have a moral code?

Why would I want to stop diarrhea??? I don’t think it’s morally wrong. Just a waste of a potentially fun evening! Do I have morals? Absolutely. One thing people will be able to say when I’m in my grave, is that I never cheated anyone, I never bad-mouthed anyone, and I never knowingly hurt anyone. Simple enough, but I’m proud to say it’s true. As for ‘Sexual Morality’, I say If it doesn’t hurt anyone, that everyone involved chooses to be there and they are of age, then knock yourselves out ! That’s pretty much how I have lived my life

Many sex industry workers keep the details of their career very private so have you ever had to explain to a civilian non-sex industry person the way you earn a living?    Roughly, what did you say?

Very much the opposite for me from Day One. I was always known as the porno guy, who had the real deal stuff. An open secret, even to the police. who every so often would kick my door in and damage beyond repair all my equipment. If I was brought in, I’d be out in the morning. Just police making the themselves look good. so I treated it as the cost of doing business. When my wife got into the business, we shouted it from the rooftops. After less than 6 months in the industry, she was up for AVN awards. While in the UK porn production was still illegal and seedy, my wife was an international STAR! We went to America for up to 3 Months at a time, where it was completely legal, and she was getting recognition at the top level possible, the AVNs were like the porno equivalent of the Oscars! So no. I’ve never been secretive nor needed to explain myself.

Almost everyone has at one time or another pooped their pants believing it was only a fart. This, one would think, would be a welcome surprise for you, so would the opposite be disappointing? Have you ever believed you were about to shit yourself and only received a disappointing fart?  How did you deal with the disappointment?

This is deeply philosophical isn’t it? To fart or not a fart? That is the question. No, I can’t say I’ve ever been disappointed by a fart, as a fart is halfway towards the ultimate goal, and I’m a glass half full kinda guy. My philosophy of life is that it’s better to have tried and to have failed, than to not have tried at all. That said though, at my age, and with all the years of practice, it’s kinda like male talent being able to achieve an erection under studio lights and a crowd of people. Not EVERYONE can do it, but if you can, you’ve got it made. Just like I can make ‘Heavy Pants’ pretty much to order !

What’s the most surprising and embarrassing things that you’ve learned since embarking down this path in your life?

I think, if I’m gonna be brutally honest, it’s the amount of ‘Straight Guys’ that just are not that straight. Don’t get me wrong. Nothing wrong with homosexual activity, but its just not for me. I have indeed tried it in the past, I’ve had a few experiments etc, but decided that it’s simply not for me. However the amount of guys for whom it IS a thing, yet they go out of their way to keep it a deep dark secret, has genuinely surprised me! Again, no judgement, I just never thought it was quite as widespread as it is. As for embarrassment? Remember, you are talking to a guy who actively soils himself in public, just to enjoy the reactions of those around him, so I don’t even know the meaning of the word! lol

Have you ever seen the face of Elvis Presley or something else just as interesting, in one of your turds?  Did you flush or bronze it?

Funnily enough, a few months ago, first thing in the morning, I DID see a face in one of my turds. It was my own ! I couldn’t believe just how realistic it looked. Then, I realized that I had been drinking heavily the night before, and passed out face down in a pile of my own poo. When I woke up, it was the first thing I saw, what an impression! Flush or Bronze? Neither, I just kept it for a few weeks but it dried up and disintegrated. The world can be such a cruel and heartless place: Thank God we have porn to cheer us all up !!!

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These days the world of porn gossip and porn news is a desolate wasteland. It wasn’t that long ago that the Internet was filled with columnists all slamming anyone and everyone, for a fistful of visits to their blog. As the mainstream porn industry was damned up and then siphoned away by one tube site after another, the great legends disappeared along with people that made all noise worth publishing. In the middle of this was a proud organization, who never got its hands dirty with such low class garbage, called AVN.

Gram Ponante, one of the porn gossip survivors, posted on his blog a reminder that AVN started in 1983 by Paul Fishbein with a newsletter for a porno store. You see, back in those days, horny masturbators had no-way of knowing if the porno they planned on buying had the content that would indulge their knuckle shuckle fantasies, or if it was something that would leave both them and their pocketbooks deflated. So Fishbein’s solution was to tell them what each video was about and how good it was.

AVN had a good run. and I’m genuinely amazed to learn of its continued existence. I can only guess that the layoffs are just another part of its slow spiral down into obscurity. Because I too am now on the desolate porn battlefield. but unlike many others, I see only opportunity. I didn’t come here to continue to wage a war that’s long over but to scavenge parts and loot the bodies. For me, this isn’t a porn gossip blog but a place of contact and something I can put on a business card for when I make my rounds recruiting and selling.

There is an untapped market of porn aficionados looking to augment their private “For their eyes only” porn collection. When someone is willing to pay at least $3,000 or often much much more for a one of a kind porn video then they need to know who they can trust. I can’t help wonder if AVN couldn’t start doing reviews of the private producers, available talent and the prospective buyers. It would be nice to know in advance if the pornslut for whom a backer has the hornies. truly enjoys taking the 2 fists in her ass, instead of faking it for the money. Or in my case, can I go ahead and start putting a video together or should I wait until the check clears?

Anyway, that’s just me rambling. It’s great to see that Gram Ponante is still around.

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