A new way to give a portion of sales to charity
In order to better satisfy the current market, it’s become necessary to appease many different people, so we have decided to donate a portion of sales to charity. This is a complete change to our normal business model which was predicated on the old fashion idea of minimizing costs and maximizing profits, only worrying about the law and nothing else. Unfortunately, this change in policy must start with talent because they’re really the only people complaining at the lack of social activism and/or political agenda. Well, to be completely honest, this will only affect our porn talent because our consumers are too busy stroking their cocks to care who or what we support; they only bitch when they can’t jerk off.
Porn performers will now be separated into two different groups.
Group A is the socially concerned, aka social justice warriors, more recently self identified as Democrat supporters. No longer will these bleeding-hearts be paid for their sexual performances in front of our cameras. Instead the donated portion of sales to charity will be an amount equal to how much they would have normally been paid. In lieu of actual money, we’re now providing performers the means to show their support by giving them a way to FUCK FOR THEIR CAUSE. For example, if racism is their biggest worry, then we will make certain that every cock that goes in them is attached to a person of color. While individuals with white/caucasian penises will be tied up and forced to sit in a corner as punishment for their toxic masculinity and white privilege.
Group B is comprised of the patriots, also frequently called red hats but generally known as Republicans. Unlike Group A, these people will be paid, but by check, put in the mail with the upmost care like their votes. Orange tinged tan lines will be encouraged. And we expect them to show their sexual enthusiasm with the emphatic volume of Alex Jones. A copy of the 2nd amendment will be included in the model releases and they’ll be allowed to display and talk about their guns during sex. Needless to say, these heartless rednecks will get everything they want, including a bonus can of paint to spruce up their trailer-home.
Be careful when giving a portion of sales to charity
All jokes aside, at a recent networking event a comment was made that we would donate a portion of sales to charity. Known politically to be an anarchist hoping for the implosion of all government, it obviously wasn’t a serious statement; we’re pornographers after-all. Unfortunately there were clients that took it seriously and they wanted to know which charity. Good business sense and experience should have dropped the issue, instead of trying to pursue the matter. Within a week, a handful of clients found excuses to limit their business with us. Obviously, the charity mentioned wasn’t viewed favorably by everyone. Since the donation of a portion of sales to charity was going to a cause that they didn’t support, they chose to demonstrate their disapproval by giving their money to someone else. This wouldn’t have been an issue had only the other side decided to do business with us because we might financially help support a group that they liked.
Donating a portion of sales to charity should only be given to those organizations that are overwhelmingly safe such as combating illiteracy or hunger. The smart business man remains resolutely neutral in face of all social and political issues. Politics and social problems are a double edged sword, meaning that you risk to anger just as many people as you hope to seduce with your virtue signalling. It’s most often safer to simply keep your opinions to yourself and keep your business out of all social and political controversies. And maybe also save sarcastic jokes for your inner circle of friends, because not doing so these days, professionally is no laughing matter.
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