Male Sex Workers are Marginalized and Ignored by Sex Worker Advocacy Groups
Male Sex Workers suffer abuse and hatred just like their female counterparts.
Beau, a gigolo and French pornstar almost died from injuries he suffered at the hands of a client. A married woman in her 50s, had used his services for a little more than 2 years. He describes their relationship as very amicable and nothing sexually perverse. Her reasons for using his services seemed to be something other than purely sexual, she wanted the attention and to be made to feel that she was desired. The 20 year difference in age between Beau and herself only seemed to make their meetings more special.
But all that changed when unknown to Beau, her husband had left her for a much younger woman. Their ensuing encounter, started with conversation over a glass of wine, a casual exchange that demonstrated a familiarity and comfort level. However, she had spiked Beau’s drink with Roofies (Rohypnol). She then proceeded to unleash her jilted fury on the man before her, cutting and burning his penis and inserting spoons and forks in his anus. When she was satisfied with what she had done, she had somehow got Beau into her car and drove him the bois de Vincennes where she left him at the park’s entrance.
He was found by a firefighter walking his dog who realized something was wrong and called for an ambulance. Beau was taken to the hospital and it was discovered that 2 dinner forks were still inside of him. Hospital staff were professional, seeking only to render assistance, whereas everyone associated with helping rape victims were accusatory. His sexual orientation was recorded as gay despite his insistence that he wasn’t. He was also questioned about his drug use, he was sober accept for the Roofies. Finally, when it became known that was a pornstar, everyone lost interest in him, with few openly saying he probably got hurt in a porn shoot gone wrong.
Sex work is still work.
Sex work has long been a contentious issue, with debates centered on its legality, morality, and the impact it has on individuals and society. In recent years, sex worker advocacy groups have emerged to fight for the rights and protection of sex workers, often focusing on the experiences of female sex workers. However, male sex workers are marginalized and ignored within these organizations, leaving them vulnerable to abuse, discrimination, and violence. The argument many associated with these groups make is that male sex workers exist in very small numbers and that their focus is on trying to help the largest number of people possible. Perhaps Beau had said it best, “This is classic feminist hypocrisy. Only women can be victimized.”
No one has ever done any adequate research and there’s almost no interest to investigate what percentage of men are prostitutes compared to that of women. Literally in a textbook in academic circles, male prostitution is estimated at 10 to 54 % of the sex worker population. (Allman 1999). A variation that is too large to be taken seriously accept to show that nobody really knows the reality of the situation. Andrew Fogg (2017) writing for Medium noted that 42% of the prostitution ads on Adultwork were males, yet organizations and governments consider 20% a generous estimate when factoring resources.
A large portion of male prostitutes begin as strippers or porn talent, so they are able to use more direct tactics, such as word of mouth, to ply their trade. Male sex workers agree that they exist in much larger number than what’s generally believed and in last decade, male prostitution has been growing. The secrecy is the result of a 3 fold problem.
- (1.) The women and couples who use their services demand much greater discretion.
- (2.) The majority of men chose to be silent about being raped because of public mockery.
- (3.) When they do attempt to speak up about being sexually assaulted, they face possible double victimization. Men are frequently accused by the police and support groups of being the rapist, trying to conceal their crime by pretending to be the victim.
Male prostitutes either know or quickly learn that, given the popular prejudices against them, it’s safer to accept what has been done to them and not speak about it to anyone. It’s a brutal reality, taunted by the anti-rape slogan “Believe every woman”; because no one is saying, “Believe every victim.”
Sex worker advocacy groups and victim resources tend to focus solely on “the weaker sex” with the argument that they have historically faced greater violence. (Budd et al., 2019). Considering the current conditions which say “no man should be believed” and that men can only be assailants and never victims, then perhaps it’s time to question historical accuracy. Today everyone knows that history is written by the winners which logically means that male victims of sexual assault are among history’s ultimate losers.
In 2024 there is a growing acknowledgment of diverse gender identities. Group identity politics dominate the government, the media and academia. The overwhelming problem with this is that the traditional male identity is considered the evil patriarchy and blamed for all problems. It’s therefore unfortunate that old biases against men, rampant within the sex work industry, perpetuate the invisibility of male sex workers (Budd et al., 2019). Additionally, the sex worker rights movement are linked to the broader fight for women’s and LGBTQ+ rights, further contributing to the marginalization of male sex workers (Sanders, 2018).
The calls for inclusive advocacy continue to be very elusive when the discussion turns to men. Male sex workers face increased risks of violence, abuse, and exploitation due to their invisibility within advocacy groups (Budd et al., 2019). They may also struggle to access essential health services, such as HIV prevention and treatment, as these services are often tailored to the needs of those who present female (World Health Organization, 2019).
Assaulting a male sex worker should not be more acceptable.
After organizing a sex event, the client paid for the male sex worker’s ride home. The driver recognized the man from his work as a porn-star and asked for oral sex. When he politely declined his offer with a comment that he was tired and not mentally prepared for a male-to-male physical encounter. The driver became hostile and sprayed his passenger with what appeared to be bear spray. He was kicked out of the vehicle and left stranded, at apx 3:30am, several miles from populace. To this day, the ride sharing service has never followed up correspondences. Lawyers have been either quick money shysters or very reluctant to take the case without steep financial reimbursement. Law enforcement is obviously also, not an option – The author (me) of this article is the victim in this case
References
Allman Dan. (1999) M is for Mutual, A is for Acts: Male Sex Work and AIDS in Canada. Toronto: University of Toronto, HIV Social, Behavioural and Epidemiological Studies Unit
Bimbi David S. (2007) Male Prostitution: Pathology, Paradigms and Progress in Research. Journal of Homosexuality. 53(1–2):7–35.
Budd, J., Bell, B., & Campbell, R. (2019). Understanding and responding to the sexual health needs of men who sell sex: A review of the literature. Sexually Transmitted Infections, 95(7), 482-487.
Fogg, A. (2014). <Gender differences amongst sex workers online | by Andrew Fogg | Medium>
Sanders, T. (2018). Sex work, gender and the politics of inequality. International Journal of Gender, Science and Technology, 10(2), 209-229.
World Health Organization. (2019). <HIV and Sex Workers>
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